Revelations
by giacinta
Summary: The boys set off home after the second trial but Sam has some important things to say to his brother. One-shot.


Revelations

XXXXXXX

"Stop the car, Dean!"

Dean glanced over in surprise at his brother who up until that moment had been as silent as the tomb; his eyes closed, sweaty hair cushioning his head as it leaned on the side-window

"You gotta take an urgent leak or somethin', Sam?" he asked.

"No, I...uh...I... gotta talk."  
Dean exhaled heavily he could hear the controlled anguish in his brother's voice. Sam had something weighing on him, something that had been building up inside his freaky head and which had now reached boiling point.

X

Sometimes Dean wished he didn't understand his brother so well; he knew he was going to be burdened with an emotional moment.

He just hoped it was a bearable one and not bad news, for the sight of his pale exhausted brother was already making his guts churn, he didn't know if he could take any other negative revelations from Sam.

But Sammy was his brother and Sam's burdens were his too.

He pulled the Impala into the grassy road-side and turned towards his brother, waiting.

X

Sam lifted his head with fatigue and stared out of the windscreen, avoiding Dean's eyes.

"I wasn't supposed to tell you this but after what happened today, with my visit to Purgatory, the whole reason for lying to you has been trashed."

""Lying to me, what you are talk….?"

"No, Dean. Let me finish," Sam interrupted before his brother could continue.

X

"It's a long story. It started back in Roman's laboratory when you disappeared. Crowley gleefully reminded me I was on my own now and that I'd only have myself to rely on. He obviously knew what had happened to you but he wasn't going to tell me.

Then why should, he _**is**_ the King of Hell after all; he didn't owe Sam or Dean Winchester anything, but I was okay with it because I had a good idea where you had gone. The souls of dead monsters go to Purgatory so that's probably where you had been sucked to along with Dick Roman's soul.

I knew I had to find some way of getting you out or getting myself in; I was gonna get you back, Dean I swear, or die trying!" Sam insisted wearily.

X

"It's okay Sammy...don't..!"

"No, Dean. I want you to know everything. When I got to the Impala, there was a woman there waiting for me."

"I suppose she wasn't the Playgirl of the Month," Dean quipped trying to lighten the moment and feeling proud for provoking a curling of his brother's lips into a watery smile.

"No...No...She wasn't. You're the one who has the hot chicks lining up at the door," Sam replied, appreciating what his brother was trying to do.

"She confirmed that you were in Purgatory."

"And she knew, how?" Dean broke in.

X

Sam shrugged.

"She never introduced herself. I don't know what she was; angel, demon, witch; who knows? It didn't matter; in the end, what mattered was what she wanted me to do. She told me that I hadn't to look for you." Sam's voice broke and Dean could feel Sam's anguish as if it was his own.

"She told me that I had to forget about rescuing you otherwise she would make sure that you died this very day in Purgatory, killed by a herd of monster souls."

X

"And you believed her?"

"Yeah, Dean. I did. She let me see you lying there defenceless on the ground with monsters skulking in the trees all around you.

She swore she would kill you right there and then before my eyes, if I didn't do as she asked. I panicked. I told her I would do anything she wanted as long as she didn't hurt you. She must have believed me 'cos she nodded and told me the deal.

I had to go away and forget you ever existed. If I did that she would make sure you stayed alive. She warned me she would know if I double-crossed her and she would make sure your severed head got delivered to me in a nice box, gift-wrapped."

X

"Did she say why you hadn't to look?" Dean asked although he could imagine why.

"She said she didn't want us together. We were more trouble than we were worth; that she had a big deal going down and she wanted no interference."

"When we met in the cabin, why didn't you tell me all this then, " Dean asked confused.

X

Sam hung his head.

"You don't know how much I wanted to. When I saw you there I was just so happy. I wanted to hold on to you….and just... never let go. And don't say a freaking word man. About me being a girl." Sam warned.

"You totally are, " Dean smirked, a feeling of tenderness washing over him at Sam's heartfelt emotions. "But I won't say a word!"

"However can't say I got the same impression, man. You looked pissed to see me, " he added.

"Yeah. I guess I picked up some acting pointers after all when we were in that alternate universe," Sam smiled sheepishly.

"I'll repeat the question, Sammy. Why not tell me this then?"

X

"She showed up again a couple of months later, " Sam sighed. " When you were still in Purgatory. Said she was checking up if I was keeping to my part of the deal. I asked her to let me see you. I told her she could have been lying through her teeth for all I knew, so she obliged and I saw you covered in muck lying back against a tree. I knew it was true. I knew I was really seeing you there, not some false image."

X

"He'll die if you don't let me get him out," I pleaded.

"I'll get him out if and when I want to," she retorted and disappeared.

X

"The rest you know. I bumped into Amelia and we sort of got together. It was more of a mutual aid society than anything else. You were always on my mind; knowing you were in danger and I couldn't help you didn't exactly make for a terrific relationship!"

"Yeah. I get it, Sammy," Dean acknowledged. "I loved Lisa and Ben but when it came to choosing, there was **_never_** any choice."

Sam nodded. Yeah, he knew how that went. They would always mean more to each other than anyone else.

X

"About six months later, she showed up and told me her plans had been modified and she'd decided you were to get out after all. What changed her mind I don't know," Sam said. " And I didn't care. All I knew is that I'd get to see you again."

X

"I'll let your brother out but no collaboration. You gotta tell him you don't want to hunt any more. I don't want you two working together. Remember I can always throw him back in again when my strategy is completed."

X

"The rest you know. We didn't exactly hit it off, did we?" Sam smiled. "I did a good job of keeping us wary with each other."

Dean pondered what his brother had told him. It all seemed weird but then 'weird' was their job!

"Why tell me now?" he asked.

"She kept threatening to send you back to Purgatory if I didn't knuckle under, but now that I've been there, and into Hell too, there's no way that she can carry out her threat if we know the way in and out. All we need is a rogue reaper and we're good!" Sam observed.

X

"I want you to know, Dean, that I would always have looked for you and I wouldn't have stopped until I found you. We've only got each other. If I don't look for you when you're missing, no one will. We're all we've got."

"Sammy," Dean felt the emotion snaking through his guts as he looked into the earnest eyes of his brother and said truthfully. "I don't understand how I could have believed that shit about you not looking for me, although I have to say I was hurt, man."

"I know, Dean, but I thought I was saving you from a worse fate," Sam answered his eyes glazed with tears.

X

Dean looked him right in the puppies so there would be no misunderstanding.

"The worse fate I can imagine is losing you Sam. We've been through so much together. You know me as no-one else does just as I know you, little brother. I can't imagine anything more terrible than not having you around."

Sam nodded, moved by his brother's words.

"Dean," he choked out. "We don't know what's going to happen to me with the third trial, if I ever get to do it, but I'm beginning to think we've not got the whole picture.

I've just waltzed in and out of Hell and Purgatory practically without any hassle, so honestly closing the Gates of Hell seems too little a deal if there are always going to be ways of smuggling souls in and out.

Maybe we don't have all the details. Maybe closing the gates of Hell isn't the true end game here, and we should get more info before doing something we're not completely sure of. Remember how convinced we were that killing Lilith would stop the Apocalypse, and look how that turned out!"

X

Dean cocked his head at his brother's words. "Could be you're right, Sam. Your little jaunt into the infers did seem a mite too easy."

X

"Yeah, then I was expecting to have to trail through Hell fighting off demons right, left and centre before finding Bobby, yet he was near the entrance, with the dungeon door unlocked as if he had been waiting for me.

Another thing, Dean that didn't bother me at the time but now that I think on it, I'm beginning to wonder.

A soul in Hell said something about me finally arriving. Perhaps it was just the words of a tortured being, but what if these Hell-trials are to do with me ending up in Hell permanently?" Sam finished off, his voice filled with doubt.

X

Dean studied him. His brother could just be throwing out theories or maybe his big brain had figured out some hidden truths. He would have to think about it, but for now he had had enough!

x

"You finished Sammy? Can we go home now?"

"You're not mad then, Dean about how I treated you? " Sam murmured.

" I think you gotta get your ears tested, dude. Didn't you hear what I just said. Without you Sammy, I'm not me and it doesn't matter what you do or what you say, it's never ever going to change the way I feel about you."

X

The air in the Impala seemed to have been infused with a new optimism as the brothers felt their slightly worn bond flare potently into new life. They would face head on to what fate threw at them; they had each other; nothing else mattered.

X

XXXX The enD XXXXX


End file.
